Tonight’s menu:
Entrée
Anti-antipasto
An array of half-eaten delights –
eggplant, bocconcini globes,
olive (pits with some flesh
remaining) and semi-dined tomato.
Consumé Consommé
Half a bowl of chicken chowder
with a swirl of sour hand cream.
(High water mark of pre-eaten
soup included).
Main
Ribbed Ribs
Pork very-spareribs gnawed
to the bone with a
sad vegetation drizzle.
Veg-eat-arian
Pre-loved vegetable array,
char-grilled post-adoration and
served with a cheap wine jus
(which can also be used as an engine
degreaser)
Dessert
Quelle Surprise
Pre-nibbled fruits and
mushy ice-cream,
artfully arranged to hide
orthodontic marks.
Sticky Fang Pudding
Our take on the old favourite,
sticky date pudding, with previous
diner’s dentures adhered under
a toffee sauce.
The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
“Where your food is really ours.”
Patrons are advised that teeth marks are guaranteed in each and every dish. Patrons are further advised that the leaving of half-consumed leavings (of other’s food) is considered impolite in most circles and such activity should be curtailed. We thank patrons for their patience with our long absence and hereby declare a resumption of the mangled misuses of language and literature seen heretofore.
