Cleaning out fridges

Tonight’s menu:

Entrée
Day-Late-Full Dipper
A delightful dipping plate of selected tidbits
from the finest clearings of our over-packed fridges
(only nominally short of autonomous locomotion),
served with our own oven-crisped dipstick wedges.

Bleak Salad
A decorously overstated take on the
traditional Greek salad, late picked vegetables with
bile-curdled Fetta cheese, de-moulded with the
kitchen boy’s one remaining incisor.

Main
Bleach’n’Beech
An interesting variance on Surf’n’Turf, minus both;
scoured clean wooden plates with excoriations of bleach streaks
and a garnish of brown parsley.

Overfed and Undermade
An enormous serving of everything left in the freezer,
barely defrosted and piled high
in preparation for the cleaning of said freezer.

Dessert
TardiMousse
A fabulous confection of sautéed cleaning schedules,
lovingly ignored to form a light custard and frosted
with a soupçon of self-recrimination.

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Pty. Ltd.
“Where your food is really ours.”

Patrons are advised that “late picked” does indeed mean “ladled out from soggy sludge at bottom of crisper” and “de-moulded” does in fact mean “gnawed on”. We apologise at this time for any inconvenience caused. “Inconvenience” includes the urge to leave our vicinity in search of a large bowl for unwanted ejections of a heaving nature. Unfortunately, patrons are further advised that the advertised Bemused Production Absurdities production of “Once More a Tut-Tutter” will no longer take place as the periodic cleaning of our kitchens has left all divisions and subsidiary companies of the Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company short of all goods until further notice, including large bowls. The one exception to this caveat is the Diversion Service, who are an inventive bunch and rarely discombobulated by any disastrous occurrence except calluses of the left nostril.